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Shot one: Hermann Hermann talks about a nostalgia for a Russian past at the window.

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Hermann Hermann (as if talking to himself): Yes, everything is in order. Everything is in order. The club is open, the roof is on, we have a room and an atmosphere, the environment is a bit strong, but we have no choice. We will make the atmosphere up. It will be up. We will create a good atmosphere. There will be a good balance. We are guests. We can go from room to room. We are guests here. The students won’t disturb us because they are in the club, too.

 

Filmed one: Hermann Hermann films himself from above in a cramped basement hall

 

Hermann: In a club. In the club.

 

Filmed two: Hermann, hung over and lying with aching body on a bed.

 

Hermann: It’s Monday morning. I don’t know how I can live this way. I don’t know what I’m doing here.

 

Filmed three: Hermann in the cemetery

 

[Hermann looks at the statue of a grave.]

 

Hermann: No.

 

Filmed four: Hermann, looking for a place to hide, to lie down, to feel safe.

 

[Hermann looks into a room.]

 

Hermann: Could be. Right up there, in a corner. Here? Right there.

 

Hermann: It’s not an attractive room. Let’s go into another room. A bit more appealing.

 

Hermann: We had a good moment.

 

Stoppard: We shot that scene in three different places. You shot it as if you were talking to yourself. When you look at the film, you know you are talking to yourself. It’s a kind of confessional, isn’t it?

 

Hermann: That’s right. Confessionalism. My biggest problem.

 

Hermann: Things aren’t going too well for me. I don’t know how much longer I can last in this city.

 

Hermann: If I’m in it, I have to get to the club tonight, because if I’m not in it, I’m going to die.

 

Hermann: She’s going to come in from the bar and invite me to a party. And I’m going to go. And then I’m going to go to a hotel with her. And then I’m going to walk into her room, and she’s going to close the door and undress. And I’m going to say, ‘No.’ And then she’s going to ask me again, and I’m going to say no again, and she’s going to go and get a knife, and she’s going to come back, and I’m going to say, ‘No.’ And then she’s going to say, ‘Well, you don’t have to do this, but we can do this.’ And she’s going to take the knife from me. And she’s going to lock the door. And she’s going to turn around, and I’m going to say, ‘No.’ And then she’s going to fall to the floor. And she’s going to die. And then I’m going to die. And then I’m going to die.

 

For my own part, I don’t have a preferred method of suicide.

 

I’m thinking of removing the earrings. And then, the necklace. The boots. And then the white dress and the shoes. And then I’ll wait until it gets dark. I’ll have some music on. And then I’ll take out the gun and shoot myself in the face. And then I’ll take out the crossword book and write down “suicide.” And then I’ll drink a cup of tea and sit on the sofa, and there will be another note from my sister.

 

And there’ll be my body, propped up like a trophy on the mantelpiece.

 

The reason for this is that my last words will be a quote from Bernard Shaw: “A man’s days are measured by the quality of his mistakes.”

 

Question: Do you know which of the three microphones are for? 

 

Hermann Hermann: Sure. You’re on the left.

 

Hermann: Right. “The dead sleep all night, waking only to eat and go to the loo. The living are all in the daytime.”

 

Question: I’ve got the whole second half written.

 

Hermann: Well, don’t worry, I’ll do it myself. Just to show you that I can do it.

 

Question: You said that the film is an homage to Stanley Kubrick. Are you very fond of that man?

 

Hermann: I’m not going to answer that question, ’cause I don’t like clichés.

 

Question: So much of your life seems to be spent looking down at things. What do you see when you look at me?

 

Hermann: I see a murderer who can kill.

 

Question: That’s an interesting way to put it.

 

Hermann: I don’t like clichés. I don’t like clichés.

 

Question: But I don’t know. It seems like the kind of thing that would be very appealing to someone who’s wanting to be liked.

 

Hermann: I don’t want to be liked. I don’t want to be liked. I don’t want to be liked. I don’t want to be liked.

 

Question: Do you think you’ve lived a wasted life?

 

Hermann: No, because I’ve done things. 

 

Question: In addition to killing yourself, I mean.

 

Hermann: You’re not going to publish that are you?

 

Question: No.

 

Hermann: Oh, oh. I thought you would.

 

Question: I was going to show it to my parents.

 

Hermann: Look, I won’t write that. I won’t. I won’t. I won’t.

 

I was talking about the films I’m thinking of making next.

 

Not the ones I was making right now.

 

I’m thinking of making a film called, “I Saw You Get Shot.”

 

Question: When you said that you were looking to kill yourself, that seemed so naïve.

 

Hermann: That was a joke.

 

Question: It didn’t seem that way to me. It seemed like a very sad, lonely, almost obscene thing to say.

 

Hermann: I was trying to be ironic.

 

Question: It’s not ironic. It’s just so obvious and so pathetic.

 

Hermann: You know what? You’re right. You’re right. I was being sarcastic. I was being sarcastic. I was being sarcastic. I was saying, “No, I’m not suicidal. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not suicidal. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

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